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Born "Baby Girl Erectus" on the 1st of July, in the year our Lord considers none of your damn business, Madam Erectus enjoyed a childhood of privilege, and was expelled from the very finest schools on three continents. She was a dangerously charming and spirited girl. Her beauty eclipsed only by a fierce intelligence and native cunning, a series of deplorable (and unspeakable) antics quickly revealed an instinctive menace to society (though she was voted Most Likely to Defend Herself in a Criminal Proceeding).

Today, she is Her Royal Highness, the Tzarina Princess Baroness Contessa von Duchess, the Queen (and it has never been proven in a court of law that she had anything to do with the deaths of her first eight husbands).

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